I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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