She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
