Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Do vagina's smell?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
