Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
