Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
