I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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