people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
