what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
