we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
