I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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