How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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