i already hear my dad disowning me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
