On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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