He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
