I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
