drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
