No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
