Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
