i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
