He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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