Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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