I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Randomize
