so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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