Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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