i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So many bounce houses so little time
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
