it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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