jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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