i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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