Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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