Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
