also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
