I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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