Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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