Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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