I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
