The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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