Fuck appropriateness.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
