I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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