He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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