I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
