i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
