remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
