Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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