did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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