Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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