we're blogging at a bar
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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