Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
