Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
