so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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