So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
