ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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