So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
